Avoid Later Blame

Avoid Later Blame

Sign up for the Swim Team in April!

The Answerman
Steve Bachman

Ted: Whenever I attempt to make helpful suggestions to my children as to how to improve one of their skill sets or behavior patterns, somehow it always turns out that their shortcomings are my fault. This happens with my spouse too.

Answerman: Give me an example.

Ted: Well, I asked my daughter, politely, if she would clean up her room, she responded that it would be perfectly clean all the time, if I did not insist that she attend school. When I mentioned to my wife that her mood should be adjusted to a more gentle, quiet, co-operative mode of being, she responded that if I provided her with servants, a personal shopper, live in chef and laundress, her mood would be one that I would definitely find acceptable. The short comings of this world seem to have me as their source.

Answerman: You must still be young, Ted. Basically, this is part of being a man that no one ever tells you about. If they did, there would be no marriage, no children and the human race would shortly be holding very small, short swim meets.

Ted: Is there nothing I can do?

Answerman: Yes Ted there is hope. You must take pre-emptive action. In 20 years when someone makes fun of your son Teddy’s splashy, go nowhere, grunting swim stroke at the pool of the Acapulco Princess during a marketing convention, you do not want him to be able to say, “My parents were too pathetic, short sighted, and self centered to make sure that I developed a smooth, elegant, strong, safe, swimming style by signing me up for the Chantilly Highland’s Summer Swim Team.”

Ted: No I certainly don’t want to be blamed for that. What can I do?

Answerman: Ted you must sign your son up for the Dolphin’s swim team. Go to the neighborhood Community Center on April 23rd or April 25 from 6:30-8:30 to register. You can learn more at the swim team website: http://www.chdolphins.net , there will also be a registration form there that you can fill out in advance. You can also check out the Answerman’s web blog (www.swimteamanswerman.blogspot.com) for new swim team parents. It will answer many of your questions as far as the philosophical underpinnings of the Aquatic Ethic, psychological insight into human interaction poolside, and other deep analysis of the human condition as well as what not to eat at the snack bar at the Franklin Farm pool.

Doris: I have been to your crummy swim blog in the hopes of getting the daily guidance I need, and you haven’t updated that sorry thing since last summer.

Answerman: Truth, beauty, and the Answerman’s comments are not bound by time, Doris.