Doris' First Swim Meet

Doris: Our family went to our first swim meet Tuesday evening and it was soooo confusing. You were there. Can you tell me what was going on? I could hardly find my child or keep track of when he was swimming!

Answerman: I know how you feel Doris. I don’t think my wife and I figured it out until our second season. There are 40 parents running around organizing and executing necessary duties; all that stuff will take a long time to understand, but the swim meet itself follows the same pattern. Tuesday evening was what our league calls a developmental meet. All eligible kids on the team who show up can swim two events. We have 188 kids this season and the other team had about the same number. That is what took so long. That’s a lot of swimming and over 300 swimmers to organize and keep track of. The meet starts with 6 and under boy’s freestyle followed by 6 and under girl’s freestyle. The age groupings are 6 and under, 8 and under, 9-10, 11-12, 13-14 and 15-18. The kids have multiple heats of each age group within the stroke starting with the boys, until they are all done. There can easily be 10 heats of 8 and under girl’s freestyle; you weren’t dreaming. The event order in summer swimming follows a predictable order: Freestyle, backstroke, breast stroke and butterfly. We finish with individual medley (25 meters each of butterfly, backstroke, breast stroke, & freestyle; all swum by an individual swimmer) if we have time before 2 am closing time. (Just kidding).

Doris: OK. I guess that helps. But how can I find my son Ronny?

Answerman: The best way Doris is to volunteer as a team area parent or clerk of course. Ronny should be camped out in the team area between events. If you are working crowd control in there you can keep an eye on him and know where he is, what he is doing to others and when he is swimming. If you learn the “clerk of course” job, you will be lining up all the kids for their events. You will be the best informed person on the deck regarding who is where, since you control it! You will also learn a ton of behind the scenes stuff since the people who head up that group know everything and everybody.

Tom: Was it wrong of me to pray that the meet would be canceled due to thunderstorms since it was so hot and I wanted to watch TV instead?

Answerman: Yes Tom it is very wrong. That is just not the perky attitude one should have now is it?

What Is Practice Like?

Lulu: I have signed my 6 children up for the swim team. I have no idea what to do. What is practice like and can you give me a feeling of peace with the decision I have made?

Answerman: Welcome Lulu, you have come to the right sport! Swimming is an aggressive, gut wrenching sport full of trauma, drama, and lots of trips to the emergency room.
Just kidding. We in the swimming world are the happiest of people. You do not see fights in the stands or debris hurled at the officials. You may get jostled in the concession stand line when the price of pizza drops at the end of the meet, but other than that swimming families are well adjusted folks bursting with inner tranquility. For a discussion of what practice is like, go to the May 29, 2006 blog in the archives or just scroll on down toward the bottom until you happen upon it.

LuLu: Thanks ever so much! I can't wait to volunteer for every meet and drink in the joy that surrounds this sport.

Answerman: Bless you my child; if only every parent had your saintly attitude toward helping out.

It's Not Too Late!

It’s Not Too Late to join the Swim Team!
The Answerman

Jason: Help. I need your help. I was supposed to sign my boy Melvin up for the swim team in April. My wife gave me a MapQuest to the community center and $120 cash in order to register him. I don’t know how it happened but somehow my neighbor Ted and I ended up at Ruby Tuesday’s eating chili & wings and consuming adult beverages. The first time I looked at my watch it was 10:45 pm, my cash and wings were finished, the community center was dark and my goose is cooked. Can you help me and does my wife have to know?

Answerman: Be at peace Jason. If this was any other sport, you would be toast. We at the swim team are a mellow and understanding group and have made allowances for people in your circumstance. In fact, I believe this same thing happened to you the last two seasons. You will have to cough up a $20 late fee to pay for your sin and our inconvenience. Go to our web site www.chdolphins.net and print off a registration form.
Mail it along with your money and a note begging forgiveness to Martha Macdonald 13346 Scottsmore Way , Herndon, VA 20171. Your wife need never know of your transgression.

Nicole: I was wondering if my husband Jason ever signed our son Melvin up for the swim team?

Answerman: Yes, Nicole. Jason successfully completed his mission.

Margaret: You have written that swimming will make my daughter Maggie feel good. Could you be more specific and use some of that pseudo sports medicine terminology. I just love when you do that.

Answerman: Certainly Margaret. After a hard working set Maggie will be producing excess lactic acid which will gradually dissipate during her warm down set. Mild discomfort will be replaced with a feeling of relaxed looseness. A solid practice will raise Maggie’s level of serotonin and increase the release of endorphins, leading to a state of mild euphoria.

Margaret: I think I will take up swimming!

Answerman: It’s a beautiful thing.